Just me in a World

I was driving around today, just to look around the city that I’ve lived in for more than 6 years now and yet, I’ve only seen the places that I frequent and the area surrounding the home I live in. I’ve never actually driven around my city before and when I finally did, I saw that there were so many more places that I had yet to see. And when I finally did see, I realized how small I really was, and the little experience I had, and the little places I’ve ever seen.

Yeah, I moved around a lot when I was a kid, moving from house to house and moved from city to city, so I never stayed in one place, or knew people growing up. Even though I moved around a lot, I never really knew the places that I lived in. Rather, I just looked.

Now, I am a huge travelling fanatic, and my one goal in life is to travel, and then more goals under that, but to travel is like a dream for me. I haven’t even travelled yet and I’ve caught the travelling bug.

And when I think back to why I want to travel… It all boils down to how short my life is. I want to see as many places as I can see, do as many things as I can, experience as many cultures and people as I can.. Before I leave this Earth.

I think this wanting to travel stems from the way I was raised. With the little freedom I had growing up, travelling seems so free, not in the money aspect, but the feeling. And I’m a total feeling person, I love feeling things and processing feelings almost all the time, so to me, travelling would be feeling everything around me.. And I’d be able to process myself without the added stress of every day life.

I want to travel because this wanderlust in me has been growing for so long already, ever since I started college a year ago, this feeling has only grew stronger and stronger. Unlike my sister’s, whose wanderlust died down a bit as she prolonged it, it wasn’t her priority.. And I know, to travel shouldn’t be my priority, but I’m not my sister. Unlike her, this wanderlust in me has only grew and everyday life is starting to suffocate me.

I want to experience the world.

But, today, I drove past the airport in my city and I just parked close by to it, seeing the airplanes fly off. And I stared, watched, and my heart left me, jumping on that airplane. How would it feel to be to be thousands of feet in the sky? To view everything through the eyes of a bird? To look down as everything got small and the world, the vast world is open for me to trek upon.

Staring at that airplane, I realized, my heart had already left me long ago. And it’s scattering all around the place, all around the world, the places that I look up and want to visit. Perhaps, when I finally go out to travel, I can pick up the pieces and finally be who I want to be. To finally know who I am, what I’m here on this Earth for, what I’m meant to do.

This whole wide world, so small and yet so vast that not even an entire life can capture all the places and moments of this amazing world we live in.

I’m 19, almost 20, and I’ve already been infected with the travelling bug. I don’t think there’s any way to cure me from this bug, but I know that it can stay as long as it wants to, for an eternity because there is nothing I would want more for myself.

To travel this entire world, to walk thousands of miles away from what I’ve know, to walk as close to my place of birth in Thailand as I can. To explore the waters and lose myself in each step I take… Now that sounds like a life that I want to live.

Driving through my own city, I realized how small I was.. All the little things I know, and the little experiences I’ve had. I’ve yet to learn more, to see more, to experience more. But, there’s no rush in Life, when it’s my time to go, it’s my time to go..

And when that time comes, I want to be ready for it, I want to look back on my life and laugh at the moments that I remember. I want to remember the life I’ve lived, one that will turn into one hell of a good story to tell!

Anyways, that’s all for today. It was just me thinking and realizing how small and how little I’ve lived on this Earth. I still have years to go, but Life can be so quickly shortened, and I was glad I got to see my city a bit more. It really made me impatient.

But, I have a plan, a little secret plan to travel… So… As of right now, I can’t, but soon, I know this bug will take control and I will just jump onto a plane and be off. Perhaps that’s a charm of mine, but I am pretty spontaneous, so only time will tell. Who knows how long I can endure the intoxicating aphrodisiac of the travelling bug?

Always remember, my dear passengers, live a life that is worthy of you because you deserve it all!